Everything is Personal

Why Sexual Fantasies Reveal More About You Than You Think

Episode Summary

Discover the psychology of sexual fantasies with Artemisia de Vine in this powerful episode of Everything is Personal. We explore why we have sexual fantasies, how they reveal more about our desires, and the deeper psychology of desire. Artemisia, a former dominatrix and expert in erotic psychology, explains the Diviner Method and why fantasies are not random or shameful — they are maps to intimacy, self-awareness, and human connection. From conscious kink to the spirituality of smut, we uncover how fantasies influence relationships, confidence, and pleasure. If you’ve ever asked: “What do my fantasies mean?” or wanted to understand the psychology of sex and intimacy, this conversation will open your mind.

Episode Notes

Chapters: 

00:00 – Welcome & Introduction 

01:10 – What is “conscious kink”? 

02:15 – Sexual fantasies as windows into the erotic psyche 

04:00 – Lessons from sex work & roleplay 

06:45 – Discovering deeper meaning in fantasies 

09:30 – The three paradoxes of sex & desire 

13:40 – Childhood, repression & the role of imagination 

19:00 – Sexual fantasies as altered states of consciousness 

23:00 – The “anglerfish” moment: when lust leads to transcendence 

25:30 – Asking the right questions to decode fantasies 

29:20 – Artemisia’s Diviner Method explained 

33:00 – Can suppressed people safely explore fantasies? 

35:40 – The Desire Compass: a step-by-step framework 

38:20 – Talking with your partner about fantasies 

43:20 – Beyond roleplay: building genuine intimacy 

46:00 – Universal nature of fantasies across identity & culture 

48:05 – Quickfire round: music, concerts & influences 

51:40 – Childhood room & upbringing reflections 

52:50 – Where to find Artemisia & her upcoming book